Virgo, the little green men are your friends. Space aliens, leprechauns, victims of cyanotic jaundice, even the corppse of Napoleon, they are all your pals. Buy them a beer. and chat about life, love and color matching thier wardrobes to their skin tones in an anti chlorophyl world.

Toast is not your friend in this dimension.Fear it.

Open your pages wide and let in all that rum and Coke. Don't forget the lime, it is just so bueno papa tu. The influence of the Moon, which is over Miami, makes border running so easy it's a crime.

Say hello to Castro for me. Wub. ( I mean that. Wub)

Love matters are gerring worse, Scorpio. Venus is getting older every day and her agging bust line is throwing her orbit off the plane of the ecliptic. And Jupiter's hernia is throwing your life for a loop.

But you need not worry, Scorpio, it is all made irrelivant by your immanent death. Enjoy the flowers.

Picture it.

You. Me. A bed of fresh greens.
Some vinagrette.

How can you deny this fateful combination? Salad is your destiny. Pluto's influence hangs over your head like a really big snow man that is really far away. Don't worry, be happy.

In the vast indigo Void there is a lonely shimmmering light. It is a light of love. It is a light of joy. It is a light of true self knowledge. This light is all we need to get through this life with a sense of fulfillment, to survive the vacum of the soul that we all face.

I can guide you to this light Capricorn.
But I won't. You've bounced one check too many.

Treat your feet well, water bearer. Happy feet are toasty feet. But would you want to be confined to a tight, sweaty leather prison, laced into your own stink?

Well neither would I, Dr. Scholl. Luckily your Peds just love that kind of thing. Don't worry about Mars' influence this week. Worry about the little metal bugs.