The 1996 Presidential Election Ousted Two Elder Statesmen from Washington.


Sure you know who Bob Dole is, but only Scrape brings you an exclusive interview with a Real Leader:
Leader Dole, Miniature Schnauzer, extraordinaire 		Leader Dole Interview


A Scrape Exclusive Interview
(With some help from Our Friends in SchnauzerSpace)

Now that the 1996 Presidential election has long been over, all the reporters have reported all the commentators have commentated, and all the pundits have done whatever it is that pundits do. There is, however, one last piece of unfinished business: an interview that no one has done yet. We here at Scrape are very excited to bring you this exclusive interview.


Scrape: Leader, you have been part of the "Dole Dynasty," so to speak, for over ten years. You've obviously have played a major part in politics and government. How do you feel about the results of the election?
Leader: Well, the people made a choice...
I can't say I'm too happy about it.
But that's what living in a democracy is about.
Scrape: Bob Dole said that he was just gonna sit back and do nothing for a while.
Is that what you plan to do? What's next for you?
Leader: Well, so far, we've moved out of our place in DC.
I disagree with Bob, though. I think the best thing to do is to keep active. I'm currently working on some TV and movie deals with my agent.
I want to stay as active as possible. Sitting around the house watching Bob Dole watch Montel Williams, Richard Bey, and Oprah is not my picture for an ideal "second carreer."
You should see him yell and holler at those shows, he's a real stickler for family entertainment.
Scrape: What deals are you working on with your agent? Is there any truth to the rumors that you are planning to write a tell-all book?
Leader: Well, first of all, I will most definitely not write a tell all book.
I'm not going to sell out my humans that way: it's cheap and its degrading. Besides, there's nothing to tell!
Now, Socks Clinton has a real opportunity there...[Laughs]

As for my plans in the works, I realy can't discuss them right now.
Although, I can tell you that I have a guest appearance on the hit TV show "Deep Space Canine" I play a "Fur-engi" politician.

Deep Space K9
Scrape: How much of a role did you play in the campaign?
Did you feel you could have played a bigger role?
Leader: Well, you know I did what I could have done within the parameters that society confines canines.
Scrape: What?
Are you saying that people didn't take you seriously because you're a dog?
Leader: I prefer the term "Canine-American"
And there are certainly stereo-types associated with that.
Scrape: So people in the Dole Campaign did not take you seriously, because you were a dog --err, I mean Canine-American?
Leader: That's exactly what I'm saying!
Other than Mom and Dad [Mr. & Mrs. Dole -Ed], no one would even consider the possibility of even listening to me, let alone letting me be more involved more in the campaign.
Scrape: Do you think that played a major factor in the campaign?
If you had been more involved, do you feel that the election would have turned out differently?
Leader: I'm not going to waste time wondering about that.
But I can tell you that I won the "Paw Poll" election by a rather large margin. I ran my own campaign, with some "table scraps," so to speak, from the main campaign.
Scrape: So, what did you differently in your campaign?
Leader: First, I stuck to the central issue of the campaign:
    Who's paw do you want on the button?
Do you want a cute and cuddly Schnauzer Paw or a cat's claw?

Secondly, I avoided personal attacks. People watch the news, they know the score about cats and they know the 411 on the current administration. Why waste their time re-hashing the news? I told them what my vision for America was.
Scrape: What is Leader Dole's Vision for America?
Leader: I see an America where one is not judged by their species, where homeless humans and animals have safe, secure housing and employment: a place where puppies and children play without the specter of street violence. An America with an economy stronger than it's ever been.


Take Me Back!


All text, and altered images on this page
© 1996 Scrape Magazine, a division of Rhombus New Media, LLC
Image at top is an altered image from the Leader Dole web site. Of course, Star Trek: Deep Space Nine is a registered trademark of Paramount Studios.
Use of it here is intended as parody, not to infringe on their intellectual property rights.

One more thing, this interview is pure fiction, we did not fly to Kansas to talk with Bob Dole's Schnauzer. If you think that dogs can talk, you may have more serious issues to confront than being disturbed by a small piece (namely Scrape) of a a very big internet. As for Leader Dole's opinions, we have no idea, although we can draw 2 conlclusions. One, he's probably just content to hang out with his family and he probably thinks SchnauzerSpace is pretty cool.