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Premier Issue

Mars Face Special report

Life on Mars &
or Stupid Joke

  • Does the face also provide proof of life on the Red Planet?
  • If so, what the hell is he staring at?
  • Does he know Elvis?
  • Will MTV do a "Real World" series up there?
  • If so, who will assume the role of the obnoxiously trendy one?
Opportunity 2000
How to Profit From Armageoden
 (And live to tell about it)

Our financial editor comes up with stories on how you can make a fortune from our impending damnation.

Make millions off God's Wrath!
Don Knotts Film Festival Exclusive!
The 1 st Annual
Don Knotts Film Festival in New York


With a career that spans over five decades, a small bar & restaurant in the Chelsea section of New York held a Film Festival in the Don's Honor.
Phone Pranks
Sun Tzu & the Art of Prank Phone Calls
Due largely to the success of the Jerky Boys, prank phone calls have gone from the domain of bored grammar school kids to adults everywhere; net-saavy and otherwise.

You'd be surprised at what you'll hear...
The Scopes
Horoscopes... Well Sort of.
We like to call them HoroscrapesTM.

But then again that's just us.