The Art of Prank Calls: http://www.franksworld.com/pranks/
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From: jleane@netcom.ca

One particularly hilarious call could not be recorded tho, as I could
never do it again without laughing.  For your benefit<?>, here's the text
of the call to an Accounting firm in the town of Cranbrook, BC.

"Tax Evading in the 90's"

<brrrrring>

Lady: Hello, Arsewipe Accounting.

Me: Uh... yeah hi.  I haven't paid taxes for about 8 years now, and revenue
    canada is starting to get on my case... you know... phone calls,
    letters.

Lady: Um hum.

Me: Yeah, and I was wondering if there was any way I could keep not paying
    taxes.

Lady: Let me transfer you.

*click*

Man: Hello, Joe Arsewipe speaking.
(note: this guy is a fucking CGA.  He's actually trained.)

Me: Yeah, I haven't paid taxes for 17 years, and Revenue Canada's getting
    mad at me.  Is there any way I can keep not paying them?

Man: *snicker* so why haven't you been paying them?

Me: I dunno... just didn't feel like it.  I dropped out of school in the
    second grade, so my math isn't so hot.

Man:  Well... what can I do for you?

Me: Make it so I can keep not paying taxes.

Man: I'm not sure if I could do that... what exactly is it you need?

Me: Well I heard you know... there are some countries where you don't have
    to pay taxes.  Could you introduce me to a woman in one of those
    countries so I can get married and move there?  She could be as young
    as 10 or as old as 90, but I don't want to pay no more taxes.

Man:  *barely contained laughter* I don't think there are any countries
      like that.

Me: Dammit!  Oh well... is there anything else I could do?

Man: I don't know of anything...

Me: What if I faked my own death?

Man: What?

Me: You know... maybe I could kill one of my kids and use the body and then
    throw it in the lake with my wallet.  Would that work?

At this point the call ends, mostly because I almost ruptured myself laughing.


--
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  Jason Leane         "Math is to physics as masturbation
jleane@netcom.ca       is to sex." -- Richard Feynman
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