The Art of Prank Calls: More connected than Red Deutsch

Updated 1/23/03

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Hastings aka NPC, Nate, TPFKANPC

The Prankster Formally Known as Nate the Phone Controller

Bad Pizza Experience (6:11 -- 363K -- Realaudio) She must just think I'm an exaggerater.	Burger King Popcorn (:31 -- 113K -- AIFF) (:31 -- 32K -- Realaudio) "Sir, I have to go" [I'm about to laugh at you and it says not to do that in the BK Manager's handbook.]
Butt Plugs (:58 -- 57K -- Realaudio) One of the most absurd calls ever. Repeat the words "Butt Plugs?" 14 times and get transferred all over the place.	Camel Hut (3:15 -- 195K -- Realaudio) The obligatory terrible fake accent - how can she believe such a ridiculous stereotype?
Corn Dogz (1:41 -- 101K -- Realaudio) Getting intestine removed, yet he wants coupons.	Crazy Descriptions 2 (2:38 -- 154K -- Realaudio) "Am I painting a mental picture of him for you there?"
Crazy Descriptions 3 (:51 -- 50K -- Realaudio) A little miscommunication...	Crotchless Underwear (2:08 -- 129K -- Realaudio) One call after another for crotchless underwear when they're about to close (different people answer). I wonder what the clerks said to each other later?
Dry Wall Message (:27 -- 27K -- Realaudio) They're about to get some serious-ass dry wall competition
Enter the 36 Stitches (3:48 -- 228K -- Realaudio) You picked the wrong 7-11 employee to mess with this time, buddy.
Flaming Chiropractic (1:57 -- 116K -- Realaudio) I get "Fleming" and "Flaming" confused and the madness ensues.	Fur's (2:50 -- 170K -- Realaudio) A call from a really annoying animal rights activist. "Wombats?"
Get Goofy (1:28 -- 89K -- Realaudio) She plays along so nicely.	Glamour Shots (2:26 -- 142K -- Real Audio) "No, I was wanting more from the waste *down*."
Handjob, etc. (5:29 -- 324K -- Realaudio) "BUSTED!!!" The guy thinks I'm one of his friends. There are so many levels to this.	I want to get my teeth removed (3:13 -- 700K -- AIFF) Smashing myself in the face with a brick sounded like a bad option, so I go to a professional for help.
I'm Gettin' a Little Peeved Here (6:07 -- 700K -- Real Audio 28.8) The awesome prank music mega-mix.	Is Your Refridgerator Running? (:27 -- 27K -- Realaudio) This is a subtle one. Its sort of like an anti-prank call. Silly silly silly.
Montezuma's Revenge (:40 -- 40K -- Realaudio) A sophomoric call that might appeal to your little brother...	Nasty Pictures (:42 -- 42K -- Realaudio) "The Internet. Isn't that that thing with them nasty pictures?"
Need Some Towels at the Holiday Inn (2:35 -- 155K -- Realaudio) "I told you not to do that."	Nintendo (3:03 -- 183K -- Realaudio) An old classic ever since we were Nintendo-playing little kids
Outcall Massage (1:11 -- 72K -- Realaudio) "Its been theraputic before, if you know what I mean."	Pastabilities (2:21 -- 141K -- Realaudio) Pasta makes me angry and I don't mind telling people about it.
Petite Ladies Store (1:44 -- 104K -- Real Audio) She's a little surprised this guy would apply for the job.
Physical (1:57 -- 117K -- Realaudio) Someone gets a little impatient.	Speak to Supervisor (2:33 -- 153K -- Realaudio) Similar to bad pizza, the things that happened to this bastard just get worse and worse.
Ready To Go? (1:58 -- 116K -- Realaudio) "Hello?" "Yeah, you ready to go?"	Rooti Tooti Fresh 'n Fruity (2:56 -- 177K -- Realaudio) Tensions rise over a pancake mishap.
Run You Out of Business (2:21 -- 117K -- Realaudio) My favorite part is that he thanks me for calling at the end.	They Called Me! (4:07 -- 247K -- Realaudio) Some really persistent lady tries to sell me a subscription to the paper.
3 Questions (:22 -- 22K -- Realaudio) 3 questions not to ask at a 24-hour grocery store late at night.	Tourettes? (:49 -- 49K -- Realaudio) A really bad impression of Tourette's Syndrome. Its sad, nobody will ever stay on the phone with him.
U-Ha-Ul (5:20 -- 320K -- Realaudio) "Sir, I want to work with you here. Do you want to work with me?"	Upper Class Nobility (2:53 -- 173K -- Realaudio) This jackass is just too polite.
Want To Get Warts Added (1:14 -- 74K -- Realaudio) She won't give me some leftover warts and stuff, even though money is no object.	We Are Toys (3:31 -- 211K -- Realaudio) "Yes, this is Jim Stapleton from the Southeastern Branch of the American National Society for Good Grammar and Punctuation..."
We're Closed Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday (1:09 -- 69K -- Realaudio) This is what happens when you call with absolutely no plan, but the saving grace is that the guy is an asshole anyway.	Why So Many Lawyers? (2:33 -- 154K -- Realaudio) "I know a crack I can go step on. What can I get for that?"
Woodcare (2:08 -- 466K -- AIFF) "What kinda wood we talkin' about here?"

Disclaimer

The calls on this page are presented for entertainment purposes only. While laws regarding telephone calls vary from locale to locale, the calls presented here were recorded with the knowledge of the caller but not the recipient of the call, in accordance with the laws of the state in which they were recorded. Details of the call recipients have been edited out whenever possible in order to protect them from harassment. The content of all recordings are the sole responsibility and property of their respective authors.

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