Teletubbies Back in the News Again

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The world famous performace artists find themselves back in the spotlight just weeks after their drug trafficking charges were dropped.

Tinky Winky, the purple one, was "outted" by Rev. Jerry Falwell.

Fans have Mixed Reactions

The Teletubbies' two main demographics have differing opinions on the subject of Tinky Winky's sexual preferences.

The first group, the 1 to 4 year old set has not much to say on the subject other than "Falwell bad man" and "that old guy make Tinky Winky cry!"

Their real fanbase, stoners and users of illicit pharamceuticals ,has quite a variety of opinions on this subject. Most reactions fall within two categories:

"It's Not a Purse"

"Hey man, Falwell don't know shit," said one college stoner, "That's his 'magic bag.' You know what I mean? He has to get all the drugs for the others man. He's the biggest. Where else is he going to put all the drugs? He has no pockets."

"Falwell has pockets, he can't understand them , man" said another chemically challenged inidividual.

"So what if he's gay"

The Tubbies have brought meaning to the live of millions of stoners around the world. Most fans don't care about Tinky Winky's sexual preferences.

"Yo, dude, it's like this, man. It's so beautiful, the Pinwheel speaks to me. It speaks to us all, man," said another wasted fan, "The Pinwheel will summon you regardless of race, color, creed, or sexual orientation. It's so beautiful!"

It speaks volumes, indeed.

Jerry Falwell "Outs" Tinky Winky, the Gay Teletubby.

Roanoke, Virginia -- Jerry Falwell made an announcement today that even outpaces our cynical expectations here at Frank's World News. He proclaimed to the world that "Tinky Winky" is gay role model.

"Nothing gets past Jerry's keen sense of hidden cultural messages and subliminal subversion." "Clearly, Rev. Falwell discovered things that revealed what side of the plate Tinky Winky was 'playing from,'" explained a Frank's World News representative, "We totally dropped the ball on this one. We apologize to our readers who expect us to come up with drivel like this."

It doesn't matter what you say so long as you say it with a smile!

"We concentrated our coverage on their recent drug problems, Po's 'issues' with alcohol and their unlikely friendship with Steve Forbes. We never thought that their sexual preferences were newsworthy."

Portrait of a Gay Role Model
Tinky Winky with Magic Bag in Hand	Falwell's evidence consists of three hidden clues; three subliminal satanic messages embedded in Tinky Winky's appearance. He carries a handbag He is purple, the color of "Gay Pride" His "antenna" is a triangle, the symbol of "Gay Pride"

A spokesmen for the Teletubbies denied that Tinky Winky is a homosexual and explained away the handbag as the purple Teletubbies' "Magic Bag." The spokesmen did not, however, rule out the possibility that Tinky Winky was trans-sexual, bi-sexual, or into bondage.

Ironically, it was that same "Magic Bag" that got the Teletubbies into trouble before with US Customs.

Federal Agents found roughly 8 lbs. (4 kg) of Heroin, Marijuana, and "assorted hallucinigens." The charges were subsequently dropped, however. Rumors persist that long-time Teletubby friend Steve Forbes used his influence to get them off the hook.

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[ Good thing for Tinky Winky that he did not server any jail time. Actually, the point of this story is: there are more things to worry about in the Teletubbies than implied homosexuality. -Ed]