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Viagra to Blame?

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Youthful indescretion at age 40?

Little. Blue. Different.

Technically speaking, this trial isn't about an elicit affair with a brazen intern. It's about perjury.

But the semantics and media coverage all seem to be about sex.

Which puts Congress in an awkard position.
So to speak.

Since when is Congress a moral authority?

Most of the "Family Values" folks are working on their second or third marriages.

Get real.
Get out of people's personal lives.

True the President may have commited perjury, but does that warrant his removal from office?

There's no easy way out of this one, folks.

Prosecutors Urge Calling Lewinsky

Senators/House Reps Want "Action" Too

Washingtion, DC-- The impeachment trial of the President began just began, but there's no shortage of absurd behavior and hypocritical theatrics.

There was talk of perjury, witness tampering and abuse of power. But the real money maker here today was Monica Lewinsky.

 

Monica Lewinsky, during her testimony, claimed to be the best practitioner of Oral Sex in Washingtion, DC. "The record is so clear on this that if you have any significant doubt about Monica Lewinsky's credibility on this testimony, you should have us bring her in here and examine her face-to-face and judge her credibility yourself," McCollum said.

Above: Bill McCollum (R-Florida) want to 'examine' Lewinsky and test her credibility.

Members of Congress are afraid to visit their usual "kept women" and commercial sex workers for fear of embarrassment and public backlash. Sexually frustrated, they hope that they can take care of their own issues while acting according to their own "conscious" and in the public good.
[ Nudge, Nudge. Wink, WInk -Ed.]

Others Eager to "Drill Lewinsky"

Above: Georgia Republican Bob Barr appears to be sexually frustrated.

Georgia Republican Bob Barr, who hasn't been to Ida Mae's Chicken Ranch in over a week, is starting to feel the pressure of the Clinton scandal. "We all want to get our hands on Lewinsky, that's how desparate we are," pleaded one who wishes to remain anonymous.

Yeah, Baby, Yeah!

"I've seen Austin Powers three times this week and all I've got to say is that Monica is simply 'Shag-adelic, baby!' Yeah!" During the recesses, the bathrooms were packed. Unconfirmed reports say that George Michael was in the area. As they say in the UK, Randy!

Above: Rep Chriss Cannon (R-Utah)

No matter what happens, everyone can agree on one thing:

This is going to be like the OJ Trial and Jerry Springer put together.

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[ I guess we really are stars now, in the dope show. -Ed]