Weekly World News
Fact Sheet
Country of Origin |
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The US. (we think.)
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Distribution Channels |
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Mostly Supermarkets.
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Primary Audience |
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Anywhere from college students to housewives. We sincerely hope that no one actually believes the stories in it. |
That's all we have to say.
Sometimes we just run out of stuff to put in here.
Weekly World News Shocker!
World's Best News Source Admits to
"Questionable News Tactics"
By Columnist Johann Declivity, Professional Liar
[Dateline: Somewhere, Kansas] Today, in a shocking turn of events, the famous and news organ The Weekly World News admitted to our fictional correspondent that the magazine is, and always has been a humor magazine.
To the American public, this is yet another incident that undermines their faith in the news media.
"We never intended to deceive anyone" said Chief Editor Friedreich D. Greatt "we just kept expecting that people would catch on."
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Smiling ruefully, the greying man continued "I mean our stock in trade has always been stuff that no one in his her or its right mind would believe. We once published a story about how Jesus had returned and was
on welfare while studying interpretative dance in Texas." |
"Bigfoot was Fred Astaire!
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"Who would believe that?" he sighed
"Jesus already knows everything there is to know about dance."
"It finally got to the point that I kept raising the ante to get people to see what was what. Bigfoot was Fred Astaire! The Dali Lama is really a llama! Chocolate falls from the sky in Los Angeles on the fourth of July! The streets of New York are paved with gold! You can buy real estate with no money down! Such crap I spouted, and nobody caught on."
Visibly exhausted by his speech, Mr. Greatt finished "If this business weren't so lucrative, I'd have given it up years ago. But I can't just walk away from a hen that lays golden eggs (Weekly World News, Vol. xxl, No.42, April 1, 1879) but I can clear things up. I'm changing the name of my paper to "The Extremely Funny Exaggerations and Lies Weekly."
He sighed one last time "But some people stili won't see the joke"