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Puff Daddy After His Deposition

Above: Puffy & friend embrace after deposition.

The Dalai Lama Testifies:

The Dalai Lama

"What does all this have to do with me?"

Tibetan Buddhists everywhere are still reeling from the Dalai Lama's deposition and the nature of the questions which he was asked.

"It was bad enough when he was asked if he had been ask to lie for the Bill Clinton a past life. But when Ken Starr asked if the Dalai Lama had performed oral sex on the President, Mr. Starr went way too far"

Spokesmonks for the The Dalai Lama said, "We're still figuring out what we have to do with all of this."

Puff Daddy to
Kenneth Starr:

It's All About the Benjamins, Baby.

The Whitewater investigation has reached yet another surreal and meaningless milestone.

A spokesperson for Ken Starr's commission reportedly said that "We can no longer ignore other major public figures and their possible invovement in Whitewater."

Ken Starr (pictured at right) and his commision then drafted a list of celebrities: from religious figures to pop stars.

The Dalai Lama gave his deposition yesterday, amidst a flood of controversy from Buddhists in the US and around the world. (See Left Panel)

Puff Daddy's deposition went a bit smoother, but onlookers said it no less bizzare. Apparently, Mr. Starr is a big fan of the East Coast Rap Scene.

Said one witness, "That's real, yo. My man Puff [Puff Daddy] kept his cool and laid it out real smooth. They be tryin' to accuse him of this and that, but Puffy told that sucka' where it was at."

There was some friction, though. As Mr. Starr grilled puffy on his whereabouts during the whole Whitewater deal, Puffy maintained that he was just doing gigs in Harlem World.

"It's All About the Benjamins, Baby"

When asked about his motives for playing Harlem World and resampling Sting's 1980's hit "I'll Be Watching You," Puff Daddy responded with a sharp: "It's all about the Benjamins, Baby!"

When asked if he had an alibi for his story, Puffy said that he was with his crew: Notorious B.I.G., Li'l Kim, and Ma$e.

"Mr. Starr seemed real interested in bringing in Li'l Kim for questioning." said another eye witness, "Almost as excited as when the Spice Girls were called in to testify."

How Long Will This Go On?

Mr. Starr's office hesitated to give a definitive answer, but they did admit that there's "still a lot of famous people to go through" before this whole affair will be over.

Scheduled to Testify Next Week: