Above Bill Gates points to a UFO he saw last week over Seattle.

Bill Gates Sees UFO!

Microsoft CEO Claims Aliens Gave Him Source Code for Windows 2098!

(DATELINE: SEATTLE) Bill Gates made a most unusual announcement today from his home in Suburban Seattle today. He claims that aliens visited him at his high tech abode last night.

They came, introduced themselves, looked at all my high tech gadgets and laughed at it all. When I threatened to buy their homeworld, they handed over some of their most advanced technology.

Thomas Freiheit, freelance expert & occasional Frank's World News commentator, chuckled at this version of the story.

"Aliens from a sufficiently advanced civilization would not have been fearful of Bill Gates' threats. It's much more probable that they gave him the technology out of pity after they saw Windows 1998 crash during several very public demonstrations recently."

Prelude to an Invasion?

Others, more conspiracy minded folks have their explanations of this visit.

"They're softening us up!" declared Bo Quino of Conspiracy Theorists Anonymous. He elaborated, "What better way to put a virus on most of the world's computer systems than to make the virus part of the operating system?"

When asked about Conspiracy Theorists Anonymous and shouldn't they be discouraging these sorts of outlandish scenarios. He tortly responded:

"That's what we want you to think!"

Blunt Force Trauma to Blame?

Others still posses different opinions. Maybe, that pie that Bill Gates got hit in the face with in Belgium knocked his head harder than anyone thought.

Either that or it's just a cheap publicity stunt for the new X-Files movie.

[Or just a cheap tabloid peice. -Ed]

Wall Street "Giddy" Over Interplanetary Visit!

Microsoft stock soars on news of new technology aquisition.

"At this point, we really don't care what he says," said one analyst.

He continued, "We don't know a damn thing about computers and he [Bill Gates] has made us so fabulously rich. For all we care, he could run around with his shirt above his head saying he needs TP and calling himself all sorts of names."

Our financial experts here at Frank's World News predict that if Bill Gates were to behave in such a manner that there'd be a run on Toilet Paper futures as well as an increase in Nicaraguan land values.